The Fine Art of Listening

Beethoven was not known for being a polite and gentle man. When he was alive, the European ruling class called all the shots, and musicians were most certainly considered to be of the servant class. So it’s natural that he championed Napoleon‘s revolutions against tyrannical monarchies, so much so that Beethoven decided to dedicate his third symphony to the Frenchman. Well, it was a good idea until Napoleon declared himself emperor, at which point Beethoven angrily ripped off the front page of his symphony and violently rubbed out Bonaparte’s name, leaving a gaping hole in the page.

The fourth movement of the symphony is a set of variations on an original theme Beethoven had written earlier. Putting political and military personages aside, Beethoven is both revolutionary and heroic in this music: Revolutionary because he expressed his unbridled emotions and wrote what he wanted to, practically ushering in the romantic era; Heroic because there are parts in this movement where I believe Beethoven becomes completely lost and doesn’t know what to do next. He doesn’t have Mozart’s grace and complete control over his score; he doesn’t have Bach’s brain for organization, which knew the limits of a piece of music based on the first couple measures. Beethoven has to fight for it – and fight he does, with bravura that you have to admire.

Don’t ask me, I didn’t come up with that.

Maybe from boredom, maybe from drinking, or maybe from a sudden burst of creative energy at 4am – whatever the cause, sometimes people write wacky lyrics to instrumental pieces. Sometimes they’re very clever – for example, I’ve heard these words sung to the opening bassoon solo in Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring:

“I am not an English horn, I am not an English horn, this goes too high for me, I am not an English horn.”

Another one which is hilarious (albeit on an esoteric level) is this text for the secondary theme in the slow movement of Franck’s Symphony:

“Cesar Franck composed the best he could; his music sounds like Brahms, but not as good.”

But then there’s this one, which is used primarily as a mnemonic device for music students to remember the melody of the minuet from Mozart‘s Symphony in g minor:

“Insane men, ripping out their hair.” Wat?

I can almost rationalize these lyrics: the melody of this movement is somewhat in 2/4 time, while the dance itself is in 3/4 time. It’s like trying to dance a polka when you’re supposed to be dancing a waltz. If you feel the melody in 2/4, then you’ll find yourself adding a beat here or there to compensate, and it can make you insane, possibly causing you to rip out your hair. Whatever, I didn’t come up with it.

“Retro” is a word you hear a lot these days – taking something old and clearly dated and making it fashionable again. Bell bottoms, vinyl records, lumberjack beards, thick plastic glasses, mullets (someday, I hope!)

Many people have said to me how much they enjoy the sound of older instruments – since I’m a keyboard player, I usually hear it about the harpsichord. It looks like a piano, but its sound has a bite to it that is not unlike the electric guitar; it’s gentle and elegant, but has a real edge to its sound. I think we are attracted to the older instruments because they remind us of something we already know, but are different enough to really catch our attention (our “beginner’s mind“). The fact that the instruments are recycled from the past (as opposed to newly invented) gives an added benefit of transporting our imaginations to an idealized time in history.

The Crumhorn could be called the lovechild between a bagpipe and an oboe. It is a double-reed instrument with fingered holes (like an oboe), but the player’s mouth doesn’t touch the reed – instead it is contained in a box, giving it a growling sound while severely limiting its range. It was a popular instrument in the renaissance, but its lack of range made it fall from favor as newer instruments were invented. The sound will put you back in the 16th century – as you can see by this extremely talented performer who is playing all 4 crumhorn parts, all 4 viol parts, as well as the drum. It’s slightly surreal, but completely awesome, and yes, I’m totally jealous of this guy’s abilities.

Make sure you pay attention to the video, especially the artwork. Yeah.