Maurice Ravel wrote “La Valse” as a commission by the famous ballet choreographer, Sergei Diaghilev (who also commissioned the Rite of Spring, and many other famous early 20th century pieces.) Diaghilev rejected the music, saying “It’s a masterpiece, but it’s not a ballet. It’s the portrait of a ballet.”

Indeed it is a masterpiece. There’s plenty of clichéd waltz material here, but it’s presented as a parody. It doesn’t play like the countless standard 18th century European waltzes. It’s more like a drunken dream about going to a posh party and getting swept up in the music and dancing. Imagine approaching a large European manor home. You can hear the distant music inside, you see the fancy dresses and carefree partygoers. You enter the home and are overwhelmed by the music and the rhythm. You dance and dance, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes with your lover, sometimes by yourself. Eventually the champagne kicks in, and everybody starts getting wild and out of control. The music, and the party, end abruptly and you are thrown out the front door. 9/10 would waltz again.

A piece of music, written about a piece of music? That’s sooooo meta …

note: this cannon makes music AND war.

Blogging: some days the words flow from a never-ending stream of genius and awesomeness; other days, I end up blankly staring at my screen, watching the worst of YouTube, desperately looking for inspiration. (the same thing can happen when it comes to music composition, by the way!) When I’m stuck, the first thing I do is search for historical events that happened on the day of the post. So what happened on June 30? The Tunguska Event – and no, I had never heard of this until today’s web search.

Basically, the Tunguska Event was a meteor that struck the middle of Siberia in 1908 and caused a massive explosion that leveled 2,000 sq. km of forest (and caused no known human casualties***).

.. a big BOOM … in Russia … eureka! I’ve got it! I’m a genius!

Tchaikovsky‘s 1812 Overture is the most famous musical BOOM. It was written in 1882 to celebrate Russia’s victory over Napoleon in 1812. As far as the music is concerned, it’s not the most amazing piece ever written; I’d venture to say that it’s one of Tchaikovsky’s tackier contributions to the Art Music canon (pun intended). I’m not saying it’s bad, but compared to his 6th symphony or to his opera Eugene Onegin, the 1812 Overture is a hodge-podge collage of nationalistic sentimentality, including some ridiculously long, melodic sequences (like the one that starts at 0:52 and ends at 1:39 – yes, 45 seconds of descending tetrachords …), and, of course, cannons!

This is why I’m posting just the finale, not the whole piece. You can listen to the whole thing if you want, but trust me, it’ll just be a long wait until the cannons come out. Here’s what you’re hearing:

• 0:03 La Marseillaise, the French National anthem, representing Napoleon of course
• 0:40 the first of the cannons!
• 1:39 A Russian Orthodox Hymn (O Lord, Save Thy People)
• 1:45 Church Bells celebrating the Russian victory
• 3:14 God Save the Tsar, the Russian National anthem at the time (spoiler alert – God doesn’t save the Tsar)

*** if it did cause any human casualties … what a totally metal way to die!

In truth, it’s way more than two floozies.

Cosi Fan Tutte is a comic opera by Mozart, whose plot is fairly conventional as far as late 18th century operas go. A couple of men, being complete pricks, decide to make a wager on the fidelity of their fiancées, and agree to try for a switcheroo. The women, naturally, being wholly brainless and without any morals (please note my heavy tone of sarcasm here), quickly fall in love with the other man and are unfaithful to their husbands-to-be. In the end, the truth of the wager is revealed to the ladies. For some bizarre reason, the women are completely fine with the fact that their fiancés played with their emotions like toys, and that they were traded like a piece of property. Nobody questions the motives of the men, of course, and the newly-formed, swinging couples have a double-wedding. The moral of the story? “All women are like that” – cosi fan tutte.

All of a sudden, an opera about necrophilia doesn’t seem so morally bankrupt. The good news is, you can still enjoy the music of Mozart, and blissfully ignore the stories that late 18th century aristocrats liked to reinforce.